In May, I wrote about longevity, not just the kind measured in years, but the kind that matters to our families, farms, livelihoods and future. I wrote about the importance of taking care of ourselves with the same seriousness we give to people, land, livestock and equipment.
June gives me a chance to tell the rest of the story.
June is Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month. For many of us, especially men in agriculture, mental health can be difficult to talk about. We are fathers, husbands, sons, brothers, neighbors and friends. We are problem solvers. We are doers and fixers. We carry burdens on our shoulders that most people never see. A long-time friend from the Bootheel recently reminded me of a saying that has stayed with me: “Nothing is as good as it seems. Nothing is as bad as you think.”
There is a lot of truth in that.
In moments of stress, discouragement or desperation, the problems in front of us can feel permanent. The truth is, they’re temporary.
Please do not make a permanent decision because of a temporary problem.
Here’s the truth. The world is better with you in it. Your family is better with you here. Your friends, your community, your church, your farm and the people who love you are better with you in their lives.
Those dark moments can come late at night, in the cab of a truck, in the barn, in the field or in the quiet of a house after everyone else has gone to bed. That is why each of us needs to find a way through those moments before they consume us. Pray. Breathe. Call someone. Text someone. Step outside. Take a walk. Tell a spouse, friend, pastor, doctor or counselor the truth: “I am not OK right now.”
At night, I often pray for spoken and unspoken needs. That phrase matters because we never truly know what another person is carrying inside. Social media can make that loneliness worse. It creates a false sense that the grass is always greener somewhere else. We compare everyone else’s highlights to our hardest days, while too many people hide behind phone screens instead of facing reality.
If you are struggling, please do not suffer in silence. If you are in crisis, please call or text 988 right away. If you are not in crisis but know you are not in a good place, reach out to someone today. Don’t be afraid to talk about it.
And if you are doing well, look around for someone who may not be. Call the friend you have not heard from. Stop by the neighbor’s place. Ask the young farmer how he is handling the pressure. Check on the older man who always says he is fine.
Nothing is as good as it seems. Nothing is as bad as you think.
Hold on. Speak up. Check in. Keep going.
This world is better with you in it.
